The False Economy of Powering Through

I grew up in Maine where many people have grit. I don’t know if it’s the climate or being raised with a good ole New England work ethic, but quitting isn’t an option. You figure it out. You keep going. You determine a course. You basically will the thing to change and then set out to make it happen.

This summer I turned 60 years old. I always thought that was such an old age, that when reached, people must start counting the days until retirement. Not so for me. My 59th birthday was hard, because the next one was 60.  I had an entire year to face my reality and get ready for 60. I have so much that I still want to do to that I haven’t even started yet. Instead of slowing down, I realized I needed to hurry up in order to get everything done.

It may seem odd that someone my age needed to read a book about time management. You would think that by now, I had figured out how to do that.  But mixed with my grit, work ethic,  heart for ministry and being taught that I needed to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Jesus, I drank gallons of kool-aid around this principle of powering through. It took this long to realize that it has a false economy.

I have indeed, struggled with approval and performance issues. I thought my worth as a Christian woman in the church was based on service, sacrifice and living out my faith. Faith without works is dead, you know. In reality, I was trying to earn God’s approval by my hard work.  It worked in other arenas, why wouldn’t it work with God?

As you can imagine, I have had boundary issues. I don’t want to be thought of as lazy or useless. I want to contribute and show my team that I will pitch in wherever needed and don’t just sit around all day and think up things for them to do.

As I hit menopause, I needed a new way to live. The loss of energy was very surprising. Before this, I could always catch up on sleep. Not so anymore. Now, no matter what I did, I was tired, drained, and had little energy.  Uh-oh. How am I supposed to do what I do at the pace I do it, when I don’t have the energy? Sucking it up and pushing through wasn’t working anymore. I needed a new strategy. I needed to say no to things that I used to be able to do for hours.

I was good at listening and loved meeting with people to hear their story and pray for them. Now, I gave them a set time and positioned a clock behind them on a shelf so I could see exactly what time it was. I knew exactly when to interject, begin the wrap up, pray for them and send them out the door.  At times, I even asked my assistant to stick her head in the door at a certain time to announce my next appointment.

I shortened these appointments, because I was mentally checking out long before the person was done talking. I even began to walk with students around campus so I would stay awake while they talked. I pushed my assistant to find out exactly what students wanted ahead of time, so I could get right to the point of the meeting. 

I found myself choosing more carefully how I spent my time. Though this is a good thing, I wanted to limit my time with people because they were draining me. Uh-oh. My job is people. Ministry is people. How was I going to do my job, but not be with people?  I started being way more picky about who I said yes to mentoring. What used to be so easy, now took tremendous effort.

I was used to working with little financial resources, so I needed people to be the resource. Focusing on the presence of the Lord, didn’t blow our budget. Inviting people to move closer to Jesus, didn’t take money. However, it did take time. And giving them the time was what was draining me. I added more people to the team by way of interns, but the more people you add, the more you have to train and prepare them. I moved from doing it to getting others to do it. Multiplying myself as much as I could.

As ministry expanded, I needed to narrow my focus. What are my skills? Strengths? Life-giving activities? Places of enjoyment? That is where I need to spend this lower level of energy. I decided I would spend my time focusing on my staff and student leaders.  Instead of me having a team of student leaders, I now trained the interns to lead students while I went to the classroom to teach, hoping for a trickle down effect to come to the rest of the community.

Adequate sleep, good eating habits, exercise, Sabbath, family, relationships all were calling for attention. Not to mention housekeeping, food, laundry, kids’ school activities, church, outside speaking engagements. Writing.

The key thing in all of this is that I sacrificed myself for the sake of the school, the team, the family. I thought that’s what I was supposed to do as a person who loved God and was called according to His good purpose. People around me were working just as hard as I was. But I was wrong.

The false economy of powering through means that it doesn’t work to constantly power through. It isn’t true. Each day’s work is only for that day. You only do what you can recover from in one day. Seven or eight hours sleep every night isn’t a nice suggestion, it is necessary to function properly. There are times of pushing through for deadlines or special events, but to live at that level is damaging. 

How do we then live? With purpose. Intention. Margin. Space. Regular rest. We need community to help us with this in the same way we need community to deal with our soul issues.  Maybe the issue is believing the neck-breaking pace we are living at is God. He never stops working, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.

Isaiah 40:31 The Message

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.

According to these verses, those who wait upon God get fresh strength. The antithesis of how we’re living is needed. Wait. Upon. God.  His pace. His way. His plan. His timeframe. For each of us. This lifestyle includes soaring, running and walking—it’s just at God’s pace. We wait upon Him quieting ourselves to be able to hear His word to us about what this looks like.

This waiting is like a watering station in a race providing refreshment for our bodies and souls.

Listen and you will hear what to do.

Listen to your body. It needs a rest.

Listen to your mind. You are scattered and unable to focus.

Listen to your soul. You are losing heart in the fervor of the day.

Listen to your friend Jesus say, “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matt 11:28-30 The Message

The unforced rhythms of grace are learned in the quiet.  Unforced. Powering through is forcing yourself to keep going when all the warning signals around you are saying otherwise. Stop. Wait. Receive your strength for today. Grace for today. Your portion for today. Don’t live so much of your life thinking and planning for the future that you miss today. Today is enough. Tomorrow will take care of itself.